#7

I can easily get emotional nowadays. I mean, really. About almost anything.

So, everyone around me seems so busy applying universities/scholarships to pursue their studies abroad. I used to have that thought in mind. I imagined myself get busy applying this and that, waiting impatiently for the result or whatsoever and that scenario kept replying in my head at least for a while --- until I've reached my second year in diploma and that would be around in the middle of third semester.

And that was when my brother was so busy settling down all the documents and stuff before he was off to New Zealand. I have to admit that everything that I do until this very moment, was most probably inspired by him.

He got 4As 1B for UPSR and 8As for PMR and I managed to achieve the same.
But oh well, my journey didn't go well as I wanted to (to follow all his footsteps). He was so brilliant, so bright, so genius (and he still is), there he was on the stage, received his SPM result -- 10As. Of course I didn't get straight As, you silly. Are you kidding me? Haha.

So, long story shorts, he passed his A-levels and got himself  a spot in Auckland University of Technology (Mechanical Engineering). As I saw him getting down the escalator at KLIA the day of his flight, that was when I decided not to follow his footsteps this time around. I still have so many things to do here. Yes, I would still love to study abroad, but not at the moment. Maybe next time, insyaAllah. I'm not ready. Not yet.

But then, when I see my friends are all busy for that, I get sad knowing they are -- and will be -- so lucky and leave me here. Of course I will get jealous. That's normal. Oh damn it, I'm confused.

I remind myself that there are lots of people need me here. Especially my family since my brother is nowhere to be found (lol that's an inside joke). It's okay, Aqilah. You're close to your loved ones and I need them near me. I can still feel the humidity, the Sun, the Banglas, Nasi Lemak, Roti Canai, watching Raja Lawak is no longer relevant, Malaysians sensitivity about almost everything, reading the news about some celebrities get solemnized twice and I get to witness the government is corrupting (again, an inside joke). Oh... That's not funny...

How to wrap this entry eh?

Awkward.

#6

End of 5th semester. One more to go.

Dan seperti biasa, "Semester paling rabak" mesti akan keluar dari mulut ni tiap-tiap semester. Biasalah tu. Final exam -- overall was okay. True indeed, semester lima ni memang rabak. Rabak dari segi fizikal, emosi dan duit. Sebabnya ada subjek Project Management and Construction Practice.

Di mana kitorang dibahagikan kepada beberapa kumpulan, dan setiap kumpulan kena buat event/program untuk dinilai di akhir semester. And yup, my group (combined with another group), organized a programme named Green Charity Day and I was the secretary for the project. Buat dekat Pertubuhan Anak Yatim & Miskin Sabak Bernam. Awesome day indeed. Penat lelah selama hampir tiga bulan cari bahan, dana (lebih kurang RM2.3k sumbangan kitorang dapat), semuanya berbaloi. Looking at those unfortunate faces makes you feel you are very lucky hidup dalam keadaan semuanya serba serbi cukup.

Apa yang kitorang buat?
1. Buatkan dua set kerusi dan meja (cement ferro)
2. Gotong royong (alatan dari Majlis Daerah Kuala Selangor)
3. Tanam pokok (dapat tajaan dari sebuah nursery, 20 batang pokok)
4. Sukaneka
5. Sumbangan (dalam bentuk alatan sukan -- sebab tu yang budak-budak ni nak. Hehe)

Mula-mula yela kita merungut kerja banyak, penat, menyusahkan but once you see the result, yang kerja banyak, penat dan menyusahkan tu semua tiba-tiba hilang.