Assalamualaikum.
Two weeks till new year. Where did all the time go, ayy? Damn, I think 2016 was a quite a year, at least for me. Haha, come to think of it, it's kinda funny, don't you think? I rant all day long about how I can't face the day but look where I am right now. It's amazing how every single year, we thought the same and ended up still alive, Alhamdulillah. Anyway, I'm currently in my study week right now and umm still have a lot of work to do. But that's fine, I guess? Because I think this is just a little tiny bit of what's coming next semester. The final semester, insyaAllah.
Anddddd I've been thinking, I wanna do a recap of my 2016. So bismillahirrahmanirrahim, here we go.
1. Guys, I had a breakup early this year. By far the happiest breakup. No offence but it was and it still is. When you know it no longer work for both of you, just let it go. It did justice for me (and I hope for the guy too). I said so because many of friends noticed my changes(?) and they didn't know I'm already single. They said I look more energetic, I became the 'normal' Aqilah(??), and my face lit up. I don't know but to be frank, I do feel a lot better after so long.
But babe, I'm enjoying life :)
2. I'm in my final year! I've said this so many times already but I wanna say it again. Degree life is fukk. It's so so so so much different than my diploma years. Still have one semester left and I hope to grad on time. Wish me luck!
3. I will easily get emotional when I think student life gonna end soon. I've been with the same classmates since 2011. How can you not be emotional about this?! Six fcking years together. The longest relationship I've ever had. Just a few weeks ago, we had a paintball game and BBQ later that night. One of the joyous moment in 2016. I'm gonna miss all of that and couldn't be happier to spend the rest of my student life with them.
Thank you, Allah, for all the glorious friends I have.
4. I HAD THE BEST INTERNSHIP EVURRRRRRRRRR.
5. Also the year where I finally get my first car. At first, nak beli kereta bila dah start kerja but when I knew the construction site for my internship is in Johor, I decided to rent a car. But Ayah didn't let me because it costs a lot for a short period of time. So Ayah said use his Saga. I'm fine with it as long as I have trasnportation. And then a few days later, Ibu called and she asked, "Akak nak kereta Saga warna apa?" Lol I thought they were gonna give Ayah's black Saga but instead they wanted to buy a new one. I said silver.
Half an hour later Ibu called again. This time, "Akak, tak jadi Saga. Ayah suruh ambil Iriz. Dia kata sedap drive" LOL my old folks. Just so you know, it's me who's gonna pay for it monthly! Haha. TQ Allah for both of them.
6. My sister is coming home for winter break. Hehe.
7. And the best thing of all ---------- I was selected for Japan trip next year!! Exciting innit? CAN'T WAIT FOR SPRING IN JAPAN FINALLY I CAN CROSS ONE WISH ON MY WISHLIST! I've never been on a plane for more than 2 hours. So this is new! It is in Kyoto for environmental program, named Sakura Program. A lecturer in Environmental Department, FKA personally contacted a few students to go through screening process and I passed. Wish us luck for our next step :)
With all these thing happened, I must be doing something good. Or I must be doing something really really bad that Allah wanna test me... I hope it's not the latter.
So far, I'm happy. Alhamdulillah. And I pray this good vibe will continue next year!
Monday, December 19, 2016
Thursday, November 3, 2016
#64
Assalamualaikum.
Hello, it's been a while is it? Anyway, I'm on my mid semester break right now. I just got home a few days back. I just read on Twitter something about closure. You know, when you need justification of anything that happened in your life.
Closure. I was once a big fan of wanting to know why certain things happened to me in certain ways. Mostly when bad things happened, for example, a break-up. You are so driven to find out what was your or your partner's mistakes, why someone choose to do what they did, why, why, why and why. Steve Harvey, an African-American guy who used to show up on Oprah's Show very often and now he has his own talk show (mostly to talk about relationship), has discussed this. Women tend to have this eagerness to find out about every thing. While men just let it go; or simply just don't care.
Like I said, when I was in a relationship, I was that kind of girlfriend who needs closure. Lol. It was exhausting. Exhausting because when you don't have the answer you want, you can't rest, you can't find peace. I'm not talking about relationship here. I'm talking about what effect does it has on you when you finally have that sense of resolution or a conclusion. Is it good? Boy oh boy, was I wrong. Believe me when I said most of the time, you don't need it. Yes, we need reasons but sometimes you gotta know when not to ask for (or give) an explanation. For an instance, when a couple decides to end things with each other and the boy said he doesn't love the girl anymore. You don't need to ask why he doesn't have the love no more. This is where the term 'move on' comes in. The same applies when you got fired or somethin' (haha).
You just gotta let things go. If you don't, it's gonna consume you and that's why it is so tiring. The fatigue will kill you. Everyone will get annoyed of you and it pushes people away. After that, you will get lonely and you don't want that. Or do you? Usually the explanation lies within yourself. Make peace with it and then boom, you'll be fine. Alah, macam kita baru lepas keluar dewan exam and tak boleh jawab. Pasaipa? Pasai hg bodoh. Bodoh pasaipa? Tu hg tau sendiri la. Pasai tak belajaq, main-main, solat pun lengah-lengah (I'm talking about myself. Haha I'm so funny).
I'm going through something right now with this guy. I mean, we kinda have on-and-off communication till today. I don't know what he wants and neither do I. So, I'll just go with the flow and I don't wanna know why he (or we) acted that way. Because sometimes the truth hurts more than a knife. See, a closure is not everything in your life, dear.
Everything happens for a reason. Eventually the sense will come back to you and that's all you need to know.
Hello, it's been a while is it? Anyway, I'm on my mid semester break right now. I just got home a few days back. I just read on Twitter something about closure. You know, when you need justification of anything that happened in your life.
Closure. I was once a big fan of wanting to know why certain things happened to me in certain ways. Mostly when bad things happened, for example, a break-up. You are so driven to find out what was your or your partner's mistakes, why someone choose to do what they did, why, why, why and why. Steve Harvey, an African-American guy who used to show up on Oprah's Show very often and now he has his own talk show (mostly to talk about relationship), has discussed this. Women tend to have this eagerness to find out about every thing. While men just let it go; or simply just don't care.
Like I said, when I was in a relationship, I was that kind of girlfriend who needs closure. Lol. It was exhausting. Exhausting because when you don't have the answer you want, you can't rest, you can't find peace. I'm not talking about relationship here. I'm talking about what effect does it has on you when you finally have that sense of resolution or a conclusion. Is it good? Boy oh boy, was I wrong. Believe me when I said most of the time, you don't need it. Yes, we need reasons but sometimes you gotta know when not to ask for (or give) an explanation. For an instance, when a couple decides to end things with each other and the boy said he doesn't love the girl anymore. You don't need to ask why he doesn't have the love no more. This is where the term 'move on' comes in. The same applies when you got fired or somethin' (haha).
You just gotta let things go. If you don't, it's gonna consume you and that's why it is so tiring. The fatigue will kill you. Everyone will get annoyed of you and it pushes people away. After that, you will get lonely and you don't want that. Or do you? Usually the explanation lies within yourself. Make peace with it and then boom, you'll be fine. Alah, macam kita baru lepas keluar dewan exam and tak boleh jawab. Pasaipa? Pasai hg bodoh. Bodoh pasaipa? Tu hg tau sendiri la. Pasai tak belajaq, main-main, solat pun lengah-lengah (I'm talking about myself. Haha I'm so funny).
I'm going through something right now with this guy. I mean, we kinda have on-and-off communication till today. I don't know what he wants and neither do I. So, I'll just go with the flow and I don't wanna know why he (or we) acted that way. Because sometimes the truth hurts more than a knife. See, a closure is not everything in your life, dear.
Everything happens for a reason. Eventually the sense will come back to you and that's all you need to know.
Saturday, September 10, 2016
#63
Hellooo, Assalamualaikum.When I first set foot into engineering world, all I ever wanted was to be a civil engineer. Little did I know, many other things can stem from civil engineering field. I was never quite sure what to expect but here I am anyway. You see, when I started my internship a few months ago, I was exposed and introduced into civil and structural department. Doing stuff like what other Site Engineers and Structural Engineers do. It was an incredible exposure and eye-opening experience, I can't deny it. I help with architectural works too. But when I was dragged into HSE department, I was overwhelmed with the huge amount of responsibilities they have on their shoulders.
And I fell in love with it.
Witnessing the Safety Officer and Safety Supervisor do their work with that much passion, it really hooked me for a second. Maybe a minute or two. Realizing that they knew the baggage that came with their job will give them a hell of a ride really amazed me. And it still does, I'm assuring you. From the outside, their position may seem like a relaxed one, but it's not. Being a safety personnel at site is not an easy task. These lads are badass. They know what they're into, they know when something bad happens at site they're the first ones to be chased, yet they still go for it anyway. I admire their passion. So, I asked the officer how it feels like to have a job like that. "Berat, Aqilah". that was his answer.
Without a second thought, I asked him again how to be like him. Turns out, you have to get yellow book to be Safety Supervisor and green book to be a Safety Officer. Those books are not easy to get. You have to have the experience first and attend a safety course for about 22 days and sit for an exam which costs you about RM4k. Fortunately, every company will send and sponsor the selected employees to attend the course and I will definitely go for it. But of course you have to take turns. Just like the waiting to perform Hajj.
Now that I know what I want to be and secured myself a future employer after I graduate (Alhamdulillah), I really want to make it happen. InsyaAllah. But if it doesn't happen, I have a few backup plans which I equally love. Venturing into infrastructure, maybe. Hehe
Now, I just have to make sure I pass my final year as a student.
Saturday, September 3, 2016
#62
Hello. Assalamualaikum.
Okay so, last Tuesday marks the end of my internship! Honestly, I don't think 3 months is enough for me to learn from the industry especially in construction field. I had fun, anyway. It's true when they say, when the boss is a positive person and very energetic, you gotta admit that you will get affected in a positive way as well. Not all the time but most of it you will feel that way. The co-workersssss, urghhh sooooo niceee. They are all so cheerful and fun and motivated. I learned a lot from those people. I am seriously missing the site. And the people, of course.
You see, this was my very first experience working at a construction site. And I love it. I just can't describe how I feel right now. Oh and there are a lot of other IJM scholars too! Alan, Ahmad, Tina, Hana, Hanif, blabla. Alumni UTM pun ramai. And I feel relieved knowing that they are doing great because I can see myself doing the exact same thing they're doing right now. Or at least I think so. Hopefully. I'm just praying real hard that my future endeavor will be smooth.
<<< This is the view I'm gonna miss the most.
Anywayyyyyy, since the internship is done, I'll be going back to UTM next week and it marks my final year! Two semesters left and I really hope that I'll be doing just fine. I know with all the works and the FYP thingy, I'm sure as hell it'll be a bumpy ride but as long as I know it's worth it, I think I'm gonna let myself indulge in those moment, be strong and keep my feet on the ground. For myself and for my parents. I'm certainly not gonna hold myself back.
Okay so, last Tuesday marks the end of my internship! Honestly, I don't think 3 months is enough for me to learn from the industry especially in construction field. I had fun, anyway. It's true when they say, when the boss is a positive person and very energetic, you gotta admit that you will get affected in a positive way as well. Not all the time but most of it you will feel that way. The co-workersssss, urghhh sooooo niceee. They are all so cheerful and fun and motivated. I learned a lot from those people. I am seriously missing the site. And the people, of course.
You see, this was my very first experience working at a construction site. And I love it. I just can't describe how I feel right now. Oh and there are a lot of other IJM scholars too! Alan, Ahmad, Tina, Hana, Hanif, blabla. Alumni UTM pun ramai. And I feel relieved knowing that they are doing great because I can see myself doing the exact same thing they're doing right now. Or at least I think so. Hopefully. I'm just praying real hard that my future endeavor will be smooth.<<< This is the view I'm gonna miss the most.
Anywayyyyyy, since the internship is done, I'll be going back to UTM next week and it marks my final year! Two semesters left and I really hope that I'll be doing just fine. I know with all the works and the FYP thingy, I'm sure as hell it'll be a bumpy ride but as long as I know it's worth it, I think I'm gonna let myself indulge in those moment, be strong and keep my feet on the ground. For myself and for my parents. I'm certainly not gonna hold myself back.
You know how they say, "No pain, no gain".
Oh yes, I'm supposed to be doing my industrial training report right now but you know how it goes... Heh.
Since I'm single and ready to mingle (not), this is really the right time for me to focus on myself. Also, I am so so so blessed that I met new people at the site, so it really opened my eyes that some people are not like what they seem. Haha sounds cliche but that's that. I am befriending anyone I can right now. Any positive trades they have, I will take that as examples to improve myself. The negative ones, I will look deep into that and making sure I'm not doing the same thing, insyaAllah.
Hello UTM and hellooooo final year :)
Saturday, July 9, 2016
#61
Hello! Assalamualaikum. Selamat Hari Raya, everyone!
Alhamdulillah, I'm finally home since last Saturday. Dapat cuti for a week aje pun so I'll be back to work on Monday. And also, I'm blessed to spend the last few days of Ramadhan at home. Finally. So yes, my Eid so far is okay. It's weird though. I have some fancy Raya clothes this year but I have nowhere to go. Sebelum ni baju sikit but sambut Raya bagai nak rak, gais lol. I'm not devastated tho. It's funny.
Anywayyyy, time flies so fast I dont even realize it because it's already been a month since my internship started. Two months left. Internship has been good so far but Im stressing out because my skin starts to break out and becomes extremely dry. You know how it is if you work at construction site. The debu and all. The first week had me gone crazy with the flu and sore throat AND recently I'm emotionally impaired (temporarily) hahahaha. You know why? Because my crush is already married. With two toddlers. Lol. What a shame because he has the look and the sweet smile and the coolness and a stable job. Hahahahaha funny doh. Lucky wife and kids! Not that I'm gonna snatch him away, no dude. That's rude. Believe me when I say I know how it feels when the ones you once loved kena rampas from you, so I don't wanna be that kind of person who takes people away.
Oh yes. My exam result. Lol. Jatuh teruk, peopleeee. But Alhamdulillah, for me, it's still okay so I can finally breathe easily. I actually can't wait to start the new semester. I want to get myself busy. Or maybe I just want to get the key to my SINGLE room. Haha. In all honesty, I'm really happy to see my friends are graduating and already got a job. Sooooo prouddd. I know it's not easy to finish their studies but they deserve anything in this world for their achievement. Can't wait for my turn. Pray for my success.
Urgh so many to talk about. Maybe in next post. Gotta hit the sack. Bye :)
Alhamdulillah, I'm finally home since last Saturday. Dapat cuti for a week aje pun so I'll be back to work on Monday. And also, I'm blessed to spend the last few days of Ramadhan at home. Finally. So yes, my Eid so far is okay. It's weird though. I have some fancy Raya clothes this year but I have nowhere to go. Sebelum ni baju sikit but sambut Raya bagai nak rak, gais lol. I'm not devastated tho. It's funny.
Anywayyyy, time flies so fast I dont even realize it because it's already been a month since my internship started. Two months left. Internship has been good so far but Im stressing out because my skin starts to break out and becomes extremely dry. You know how it is if you work at construction site. The debu and all. The first week had me gone crazy with the flu and sore throat AND recently I'm emotionally impaired (temporarily) hahahaha. You know why? Because my crush is already married. With two toddlers. Lol. What a shame because he has the look and the sweet smile and the coolness and a stable job. Hahahahaha funny doh. Lucky wife and kids! Not that I'm gonna snatch him away, no dude. That's rude. Believe me when I say I know how it feels when the ones you once loved kena rampas from you, so I don't wanna be that kind of person who takes people away.
Oh yes. My exam result. Lol. Jatuh teruk, peopleeee. But Alhamdulillah, for me, it's still okay so I can finally breathe easily. I actually can't wait to start the new semester. I want to get myself busy. Or maybe I just want to get the key to my SINGLE room. Haha. In all honesty, I'm really happy to see my friends are graduating and already got a job. Sooooo prouddd. I know it's not easy to finish their studies but they deserve anything in this world for their achievement. Can't wait for my turn. Pray for my success.
Urgh so many to talk about. Maybe in next post. Gotta hit the sack. Bye :)
Saturday, June 25, 2016
#60
Assalamualaikum. Hiiii
Currently I'm already passed my second week of internship. Alhamdulillah. So far macam okay but mostly we are not allowed to go to the site alone yet. The staffs here are friendly! Construction Manager pun okay. The Sr Site Engineer here is my supervisor - an ex UTM. Btw, that's not the thing I want to talk about.
You see, when your mother asked you to find your future husband here - where I'm currently having my internship - so you gotta look for one. I have my eyes on someone. Hahahahaha. He's in safety department. But the thing is, I don't know whether he's married or he's already has someone. Umur dia pun I tak tahu. But he always wear smiles on his face so that makes him seems approachable. Okay okay but don't get me wrong. Tak adalah rasa eager to have someone right now.
OH GOSH HE JUST WALKED BEHIND ME!!
Hahahaha. Ibu, if you read this, I don't know how to approach a man. Mampu tengok dari jauh je tau. Hehe
Currently I'm already passed my second week of internship. Alhamdulillah. So far macam okay but mostly we are not allowed to go to the site alone yet. The staffs here are friendly! Construction Manager pun okay. The Sr Site Engineer here is my supervisor - an ex UTM. Btw, that's not the thing I want to talk about.
You see, when your mother asked you to find your future husband here - where I'm currently having my internship - so you gotta look for one. I have my eyes on someone. Hahahahaha. He's in safety department. But the thing is, I don't know whether he's married or he's already has someone. Umur dia pun I tak tahu. But he always wear smiles on his face so that makes him seems approachable. Okay okay but don't get me wrong. Tak adalah rasa eager to have someone right now.
OH GOSH HE JUST WALKED BEHIND ME!!
Hahahaha. Ibu, if you read this, I don't know how to approach a man. Mampu tengok dari jauh je tau. Hehe
Friday, May 27, 2016
#59
Home sweet home!
I have so little time to spend at home so gotta make full use of it. Okay, Alhamdulillah all the classes for this semester is already done. Just another two presentations and 5 papers of final exam, and then the internship will start. I'm nervous but mostly excited. Anyway, I need to move in into a rent house somewhere in Nusajaya. The original plan was to just stay in UTM but then it will take me about 30 to 45 minutes to reach the site where I'm supposed to have my internship. But on second thought, nah. Searched on mudah and ibilik, I found this bilik sewa, so cheap one and make a deal with the owner. Just 15 minutes to site.
Oh! And you know what? I finally meet my bae! I think I'm in love all over again.
Btw, this is for someone to ponder upon. I don't like you anymore. If you think your tweets (or your advice, whatever it is) gonna have an impact on me, they're not. You said it yourself that you don't have any feelings towards me, so why bother tweeting about me and begging for me to come back? I just don't understand you. Thanks Acap for informing all of that to me eventhough I explicitly told him not to tell this nonsense story. N-O-N-S-E-N-S-E. This story is making me want to puke. Sakit hati. Aku rasa macam nak maki je but then I'm not like you. Telling story about fucking? You sounded so arrogant and because of that you're disgusting and so full of shit. You're making yourself look like a fool. Malu sikit dekat orang. Who's the immature one right now, huh? Imbecile. I just knew that a few of my friends don't like you from the beginning. But they're too polite to say so.
My blog is actually not for stories of some egoistic people. This is the last I'm gonna ever talk about this. I have so many other worthy things to do.
Other worthy things like, preparing for my cats food. Yeah, things like that. Haha.
I have so little time to spend at home so gotta make full use of it. Okay, Alhamdulillah all the classes for this semester is already done. Just another two presentations and 5 papers of final exam, and then the internship will start. I'm nervous but mostly excited. Anyway, I need to move in into a rent house somewhere in Nusajaya. The original plan was to just stay in UTM but then it will take me about 30 to 45 minutes to reach the site where I'm supposed to have my internship. But on second thought, nah. Searched on mudah and ibilik, I found this bilik sewa, so cheap one and make a deal with the owner. Just 15 minutes to site.
Oh! And you know what? I finally meet my bae! I think I'm in love all over again.
Btw, this is for someone to ponder upon. I don't like you anymore. If you think your tweets (or your advice, whatever it is) gonna have an impact on me, they're not. You said it yourself that you don't have any feelings towards me, so why bother tweeting about me and begging for me to come back? I just don't understand you. Thanks Acap for informing all of that to me eventhough I explicitly told him not to tell this nonsense story. N-O-N-S-E-N-S-E. This story is making me want to puke. Sakit hati. Aku rasa macam nak maki je but then I'm not like you. Telling story about fucking? You sounded so arrogant and because of that you're disgusting and so full of shit. You're making yourself look like a fool. Malu sikit dekat orang. Who's the immature one right now, huh? Imbecile. I just knew that a few of my friends don't like you from the beginning. But they're too polite to say so.
My blog is actually not for stories of some egoistic people. This is the last I'm gonna ever talk about this. I have so many other worthy things to do.
Other worthy things like, preparing for my cats food. Yeah, things like that. Haha.
Saturday, May 14, 2016
#58
Assalamualaikum.
Weh. Im having an emotional breakdown sekarang. Nak menangis boleh tak. I feel like everything is so difficult and I can't cope with all of that. I miss my family more than ever right now. Mostly because the work here is extremely overwhelming and I have so little time. Plus, I know someone is talking behind my back because a friend of mine told me so. I usha sekejap but honestly, I dont really care. I just want to end this miserable semester quickly.
Nak menangis because degree life is painful. I have soooooooooo many things to do but I just cant make up my mind which and what to do first. And when I thought that is all there is, another assigment came up. It's two weeks to final exam. Lecturers, are you kidding me? Im tired I just wanna go home. I just wanna hug and need someone to tell me that everything's going to be fine. I literally need a life saver right now.
But then you will think why I still have time for blogging. That's because right now blogging is fun and well, other things are not.
Ya Allah, pls help me ease my burden.
Weh. Im having an emotional breakdown sekarang. Nak menangis boleh tak. I feel like everything is so difficult and I can't cope with all of that. I miss my family more than ever right now. Mostly because the work here is extremely overwhelming and I have so little time. Plus, I know someone is talking behind my back because a friend of mine told me so. I usha sekejap but honestly, I dont really care. I just want to end this miserable semester quickly.
Nak menangis because degree life is painful. I have soooooooooo many things to do but I just cant make up my mind which and what to do first. And when I thought that is all there is, another assigment came up. It's two weeks to final exam. Lecturers, are you kidding me? Im tired I just wanna go home. I just wanna hug and need someone to tell me that everything's going to be fine. I literally need a life saver right now.
But then you will think why I still have time for blogging. That's because right now blogging is fun and well, other things are not.
Ya Allah, pls help me ease my burden.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
#57
Assalamualaikum
Hi. I am about to freak out right now bcs I dont think we can complete all the projects in time hahaha. Multitasking itself is not enough, you gotta put extra work on that. And by doing so, I feel like In wasting my time if I go eat ke, mandi ke apa ke. Lol. Help us, ya Allah. Aduh kelam kabut.
On a side note, it's been almost a month(?) I havent heard and knew anything from Twitter and it feels so good. I feel so much at ease and I like it. Hashtag blessed.
Anyway, gotta go. I have class till 4 pm and havent stop since 8 this morning. Lol. Bye.
Hi. I am about to freak out right now bcs I dont think we can complete all the projects in time hahaha. Multitasking itself is not enough, you gotta put extra work on that. And by doing so, I feel like In wasting my time if I go eat ke, mandi ke apa ke. Lol. Help us, ya Allah. Aduh kelam kabut.
On a side note, it's been almost a month(?) I havent heard and knew anything from Twitter and it feels so good. I feel so much at ease and I like it. Hashtag blessed.
Anyway, gotta go. I have class till 4 pm and havent stop since 8 this morning. Lol. Bye.
Monday, May 2, 2016
#56
Assalamualaikum!
I am actually pretty psych to start my internship in about a month from now. I don't know why but I love the idea of being independent and I seriously gotta boost my confidence level from now on. But of course, the thought of being away from home is not at all a good thing for me but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Apart from that, the fact that we have 3 weeks till final exam, really gives me chill. I do think this semester is less chaotic than the previous one but somehow my academic performance is going nowhere but downhill. But you know what, as long as I can keep my GPA/CGPA above 3.00, I'm all good. Diploma years were as good as heaven so yeah that's why getting into dean's list is like blinking your eyes. Not as easy as that, but you get me. Degree is a whole new level of untangling earphone cords. Not being literal but that's how difficult it is. I still have 4 case studies/mini project/presentation with 0% of progress. And I have 3 weeks left.
Why on motherF Earth do I pick engineering? It's been what? 7 years?
You know what, high school was fun. And I miss that. #TIKL
I am actually pretty psych to start my internship in about a month from now. I don't know why but I love the idea of being independent and I seriously gotta boost my confidence level from now on. But of course, the thought of being away from home is not at all a good thing for me but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Apart from that, the fact that we have 3 weeks till final exam, really gives me chill. I do think this semester is less chaotic than the previous one but somehow my academic performance is going nowhere but downhill. But you know what, as long as I can keep my GPA/CGPA above 3.00, I'm all good. Diploma years were as good as heaven so yeah that's why getting into dean's list is like blinking your eyes. Not as easy as that, but you get me. Degree is a whole new level of untangling earphone cords. Not being literal but that's how difficult it is. I still have 4 case studies/mini project/presentation with 0% of progress. And I have 3 weeks left.
Why on motherF Earth do I pick engineering? It's been what? 7 years?
You know what, high school was fun. And I miss that. #TIKL
Saturday, April 30, 2016
Friday, April 29, 2016
#54
Assalamualaikum. Hai.
Selagi kita boleh balik rumah, baliklah. Selagi kita dapat nikmat tatap muka ibu dan ayah kita, kita jangan sia-siakan. We are so focusing on ourselves, we tend to forget that our parents are aging as well.
So much loves for my parents :)
Thursday, April 14, 2016
#53
Assalamualaikum. Hi.
Hehe. I just deleted my Instagram and Twitter accounts. For now, I just use Facebook and Whatsapp. Tumblr-ing in free time. For some people, deactivating/deleting social media might appear as an immature act but for me, it's some kind of remedy for myself. It's when you feel you are free (at least emotionally) because it's no point when you feel annoyed observing people's lives. If doing so - deleting social media - makes me feel relieved, who are you to say otherwise? It's a matter of opinion and perspective. You are not saint enough to talk about other people's maturity. If you label people as what they may seem, then what are you? You dont label orang sesuka hati you.
Sometimes we dont know what are the reasons behind a person's decision. He/She may be ashamed of something so that's why shutting diri sendiri from outside world is a need. Most of the time, it's not about other people, but it's about ourselves. So, dont go spread words of uncertainty. Dont feel you are superior and feel the need to talk about something you're unsure of just to make yourself feel better. Not a noble act.
Ahah! So I will probably going somewhere haha. Bye!
P/s: First, It's 'be matured', not 'be mature'. Second, it's about my dignity of why I did that . So dont say something you dont know. Dont make a fool of yourself. Third, I dont need your help.
Hehe. I just deleted my Instagram and Twitter accounts. For now, I just use Facebook and Whatsapp. Tumblr-ing in free time. For some people, deactivating/deleting social media might appear as an immature act but for me, it's some kind of remedy for myself. It's when you feel you are free (at least emotionally) because it's no point when you feel annoyed observing people's lives. If doing so - deleting social media - makes me feel relieved, who are you to say otherwise? It's a matter of opinion and perspective. You are not saint enough to talk about other people's maturity. If you label people as what they may seem, then what are you? You dont label orang sesuka hati you.
Sometimes we dont know what are the reasons behind a person's decision. He/She may be ashamed of something so that's why shutting diri sendiri from outside world is a need. Most of the time, it's not about other people, but it's about ourselves. So, dont go spread words of uncertainty. Dont feel you are superior and feel the need to talk about something you're unsure of just to make yourself feel better. Not a noble act.
Ahah! So I will probably going somewhere haha. Bye!
P/s: First, It's 'be matured', not 'be mature'. Second, it's about my dignity of why I did that . So dont say something you dont know. Dont make a fool of yourself. Third, I dont need your help.
Monday, April 4, 2016
#52
Assalamualaikum. Hello.
One question. Why do we lie? I get lied to very often and it's so tiring you can't even imagine. The fact that some people lied to my face over and over again makes me sick. It's either that person is so goddamn fool or I'm stupid enough to not see one's true colour. Whatever it is, I no longer have interest dealing with that kind of people. You want to make yourself happy? Go ahead. You feel miserable? That's life, man.
You see, to lie, you jeopardize your relationship with others. Being lied to is the worse. It's like a stab in the back with a sword. Or a keris la I might say. Keris hurts more because of the wavy shape (and a deadly weapon). Believe me, I've been there. Twice. I feel used. To let go without any hatred is not easy. Not at all, sir. But I intend to make things right for myself and for my future being. At the moment, I don't care for the people who never stood up for me. They don't deserve my fucking time. Right now, it seems better that way.
Ya Allah, jauhkanlah aku daripada orang-orang yang kuat menipu ni. Don't you get tired of lying? You're not a conman like Frank Abagnale, Jr or Jordan Belfort that make money while doing that. I mean, not that being a fraud is less bad than a liar, but you see, they got caught, stayed in jail, got out of the jail and then made things better with themselves and use their talents for something good.
Well, on second thought, you're not a good liar if you get caught. Haha. Thinking about this makes me so mad because YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIE IF YOU CAN'T LIE, YOU FOOL.
Sorry about that. I guess I'm so stressed thinking that people can actually get away with that without feeling guilty. Mungkin Allah dah tarik perasaan bersalah tu and idk why and I don't think I will ever know. Also, I'm glad that I have less baggage on my shoulders now.
To my readers, you may or may not understand what I've been babbling about, don't worry. You don't need to. This is one the ways to express myself and to pour things out from my mind.
All is well.
One question. Why do we lie? I get lied to very often and it's so tiring you can't even imagine. The fact that some people lied to my face over and over again makes me sick. It's either that person is so goddamn fool or I'm stupid enough to not see one's true colour. Whatever it is, I no longer have interest dealing with that kind of people. You want to make yourself happy? Go ahead. You feel miserable? That's life, man.
You see, to lie, you jeopardize your relationship with others. Being lied to is the worse. It's like a stab in the back with a sword. Or a keris la I might say. Keris hurts more because of the wavy shape (and a deadly weapon). Believe me, I've been there. Twice. I feel used. To let go without any hatred is not easy. Not at all, sir. But I intend to make things right for myself and for my future being. At the moment, I don't care for the people who never stood up for me. They don't deserve my fucking time. Right now, it seems better that way.
Ya Allah, jauhkanlah aku daripada orang-orang yang kuat menipu ni. Don't you get tired of lying? You're not a conman like Frank Abagnale, Jr or Jordan Belfort that make money while doing that. I mean, not that being a fraud is less bad than a liar, but you see, they got caught, stayed in jail, got out of the jail and then made things better with themselves and use their talents for something good.
Well, on second thought, you're not a good liar if you get caught. Haha. Thinking about this makes me so mad because YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIE IF YOU CAN'T LIE, YOU FOOL.
Sorry about that. I guess I'm so stressed thinking that people can actually get away with that without feeling guilty. Mungkin Allah dah tarik perasaan bersalah tu and idk why and I don't think I will ever know. Also, I'm glad that I have less baggage on my shoulders now.
To my readers, you may or may not understand what I've been babbling about, don't worry. You don't need to. This is one the ways to express myself and to pour things out from my mind.
All is well.
Saturday, March 26, 2016
#51
Assalamualaikum. Hello.
First half of the semester is quite okay, I guess? Can't tell the same for the second half. Will be hectic la kot because all the group works start almost around the same time just after mid-sem break and finished just before study week and then I have approximately 4-5 days of final exam (and I have 5 papers, mind you). AND I CAN'T GO BACK HOME AFTER THAT FOR THE WHOLE SEMESTER BREAK AND HERE'S WHY.
Apparently, I have to have my internship with the company that supports my studies. Okay, that's good. Meaning to say, I tak payah susah-susah cari tempat intern. The internship will last for 12 weeks. From June to early September. Yes, people. It's during fasting month and all the way 'til after Raya. Okay, that's cool. But here's the news I grudgingly received from the company - I will be assigned at a project site in JB. You heard that right. Johor Bahru. 300++ km away from home. And alone. Buka puasa sorang-sorang. And I have no transportation of my own. Not ideal, guys.
I am a family person. I dedicated my whole life (in this case, my semester break) for family time. Being far away from home is really not what I seek for. But then again, I have to accept and endure this wholeheartedly. My mother keeps saying, this is just an experience. My father on the other hand keeps mentioning about rezeki. Well, you can't deny them, can you? I'm still in the phase to absorb all these.
(Cries at the corner).
First half of the semester is quite okay, I guess? Can't tell the same for the second half. Will be hectic la kot because all the group works start almost around the same time just after mid-sem break and finished just before study week and then I have approximately 4-5 days of final exam (and I have 5 papers, mind you). AND I CAN'T GO BACK HOME AFTER THAT FOR THE WHOLE SEMESTER BREAK AND HERE'S WHY.
Apparently, I have to have my internship with the company that supports my studies. Okay, that's good. Meaning to say, I tak payah susah-susah cari tempat intern. The internship will last for 12 weeks. From June to early September. Yes, people. It's during fasting month and all the way 'til after Raya. Okay, that's cool. But here's the news I grudgingly received from the company - I will be assigned at a project site in JB. You heard that right. Johor Bahru. 300++ km away from home. And alone. Buka puasa sorang-sorang. And I have no transportation of my own. Not ideal, guys.
I am a family person. I dedicated my whole life (in this case, my semester break) for family time. Being far away from home is really not what I seek for. But then again, I have to accept and endure this wholeheartedly. My mother keeps saying, this is just an experience. My father on the other hand keeps mentioning about rezeki. Well, you can't deny them, can you? I'm still in the phase to absorb all these.
(Cries at the corner).
Friday, February 26, 2016
#50
Assalamualaikum. Hi there.
It's almost three weeks into new semester and I'm already emotionally unstable. Lol. I gotta thank God for giving me such a wonderful family and concern friends. I'm blessed, Alhamdulillah. You know sometimes you just gotta let it all out so that you can feel better again. It's funny because I used to think, it's okay to keep it all in but once you tell your mother what's happening in your mind, your problems sink in. Mothers. They know best. Better yet, they know the best of every thing.
On the other hand, fathers want to know something too, but y'know they're all shy and whatnot. So they'll ask about you in a subtle way. Funny, because I know my father wanted to ask about me and he's all concern about what's happening to her daughter but the words wont just come out. In the end, he will turn to Ibu and asks her instead hehe.
Sigh. Your relationship status is not the one that defines what your life is all about. Some people just take it too seriously, they forget what's the main reason they live. With three failed relationships, I know life is more than that. I'm actually better now, fret not. And I (think) I'm more matured now in handling stuff like this haha. Pray for my well-being. Alright, enough about emotional shit.
So, busy semester (again). Apart from trying to catch-up with every thing later, I have to find supervisor for my final year project for next semester - already found him - and keep reminding him because he said he swallowed so many ants, getting ready for internship, and most importantly, applying for new room next semester lol. And also attending professional courses. All is well, hopefully.
Just over one year left. I just want to end this degree quickly so that I can be home. UTM, please be nice.
It's almost three weeks into new semester and I'm already emotionally unstable. Lol. I gotta thank God for giving me such a wonderful family and concern friends. I'm blessed, Alhamdulillah. You know sometimes you just gotta let it all out so that you can feel better again. It's funny because I used to think, it's okay to keep it all in but once you tell your mother what's happening in your mind, your problems sink in. Mothers. They know best. Better yet, they know the best of every thing.
On the other hand, fathers want to know something too, but y'know they're all shy and whatnot. So they'll ask about you in a subtle way. Funny, because I know my father wanted to ask about me and he's all concern about what's happening to her daughter but the words wont just come out. In the end, he will turn to Ibu and asks her instead hehe.
Sigh. Your relationship status is not the one that defines what your life is all about. Some people just take it too seriously, they forget what's the main reason they live. With three failed relationships, I know life is more than that. I'm actually better now, fret not. And I (think) I'm more matured now in handling stuff like this haha. Pray for my well-being. Alright, enough about emotional shit.
So, busy semester (again). Apart from trying to catch-up with every thing later, I have to find supervisor for my final year project for next semester - already found him - and keep reminding him because he said he swallowed so many ants, getting ready for internship, and most importantly, applying for new room next semester lol. And also attending professional courses. All is well, hopefully.
Just over one year left. I just want to end this degree quickly so that I can be home. UTM, please be nice.
Monday, January 25, 2016
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
#48
Assalamualaikum,
1. Hi. I don't actually have anything to talk about but I just wanted to write something up and rant about every thing. First of all, I misplaced my certificates file. I don't know where it is and I can't remember when the last time I saw it. It's a tad bit shame if I lost all of them but what concerns me the most is, it has my BIRTH certificate in it; among other things including my exam result slips. I am clearly frustrated over this because I knew I put it in a particular box when we moved out but that file just decided to grow legs and ran away. Genius.
2. I thought I'm gonna be super free this semester break but actually I'm kinda not. You see, I'm free on weekdays but obviously I can't go anywhere since I have no transportation. Like duh, I'm a not-own-a-car person. But that's fine really because if I go out, that means I have to use my savings, which is a no-no, because I am way behind schedule to achieve my savings goal. And I'm already freaking out because I might have not gonna attain such result. Oh and also, I'm so occupied for the next three weekends because they are filled with family time and friend's weddings - until my semester break ends. Really. This was not my vision of semester break activities at all. Haha. But I'm cool. I prefer not to be called a hipster than spending less time with my family and my precious cats.
3. One thing about Apple products is, the iPhone is sophisticated and very minimalist; two things I like. One stupid thing from the product is the lightning USB cable. The fragility is unacceptable. God please have mercy. Thank you.
4. One of the unproductive activities I've done all week since my semester break started is downloading movies and albums and songs and music videos and award shows. That's super fun. I hope I don't get caught because of the illegal downloads. Lol. Productive activities? Well, I've been cooking lunch every day, and that's it. I don't wanna go back to assignments, tests, and classes.
5. UTM staffs should do their job more efficiently because I don't think they did even if they thought they do good. Please, please updated our information on Aimsweb. We're halfway through third year in degree and it says there we're still in second year. And that sucks because we can't apply (online) for industrial training. ONLY our class experienced that. Weird. No hate though. Just expressing my small and non-important thought.
6. So, senarai tampal dah keluar sikit sikit. I didn't expect the result would turn out that way. Not too shabby. Alhamdulillah. Selamat lagi semester ni hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
1. Hi. I don't actually have anything to talk about but I just wanted to write something up and rant about every thing. First of all, I misplaced my certificates file. I don't know where it is and I can't remember when the last time I saw it. It's a tad bit shame if I lost all of them but what concerns me the most is, it has my BIRTH certificate in it; among other things including my exam result slips. I am clearly frustrated over this because I knew I put it in a particular box when we moved out but that file just decided to grow legs and ran away. Genius.
2. I thought I'm gonna be super free this semester break but actually I'm kinda not. You see, I'm free on weekdays but obviously I can't go anywhere since I have no transportation. Like duh, I'm a not-own-a-car person. But that's fine really because if I go out, that means I have to use my savings, which is a no-no, because I am way behind schedule to achieve my savings goal. And I'm already freaking out because I might have not gonna attain such result. Oh and also, I'm so occupied for the next three weekends because they are filled with family time and friend's weddings - until my semester break ends. Really. This was not my vision of semester break activities at all. Haha. But I'm cool. I prefer not to be called a hipster than spending less time with my family and my precious cats.
3. One thing about Apple products is, the iPhone is sophisticated and very minimalist; two things I like. One stupid thing from the product is the lightning USB cable. The fragility is unacceptable. God please have mercy. Thank you.
4. One of the unproductive activities I've done all week since my semester break started is downloading movies and albums and songs and music videos and award shows. That's super fun. I hope I don't get caught because of the illegal downloads. Lol. Productive activities? Well, I've been cooking lunch every day, and that's it. I don't wanna go back to assignments, tests, and classes.
5. UTM staffs should do their job more efficiently because I don't think they did even if they thought they do good. Please, please updated our information on Aimsweb. We're halfway through third year in degree and it says there we're still in second year. And that sucks because we can't apply (online) for industrial training. ONLY our class experienced that. Weird. No hate though. Just expressing my small and non-important thought.
6. So, senarai tampal dah keluar sikit sikit. I didn't expect the result would turn out that way. Not too shabby. Alhamdulillah. Selamat lagi semester ni hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
#47
Assalamualaikum. Hi.
So, it's almost a week into semester break and I've watched a lot of movies already. Some of them I watched online and others I just downloaded them. Ah, so many A-list movies this year and they are so damn good! Among of the movies are like The Martian, Brooklyn, The Revenant, Room, Concussion, Inside Out, and Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. They are so fucking awesome, I just wanna jump from roof to another roof. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND all of you to watch The Revenant (9/10), Room (7.5/10), and Brooklyn (8/10). Hahhhhhhhh I cant even put it into words to describe the movies. Just because they made me feel. I just had to mention The Revenant's cinematography - man, what an eyegasm. Breathtaking! The handsome Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy are in it. Damn it gurl I can't move on from watching those movies again and again hehe.
Alright. Done about movies. I am unofficially 23 years old this year, not until June. So that means that I'm getting to a phase where my friends are graduating, getting a job, settling down and "having babies on purpose". That also means, I'm getting old; well, obviously. I, on the other hand, still have a year and a half left till graduate, hopefully. I'm not going to settle down, not at the moment nor another 3-4 years... Heh. I'm talking about this because my ex-roommate back in UTMKL is getting married end of this month and my ex-dormmate in TiKL also getting married. Hujung bulan ni juga. Wow. Their lives happen so fast, I can't even feel mine. Lol. The good news for me is, every kenduri, there is free food. So, that's my life right there.
One other thing, last semester was hectic. I can't imagine being in next three semesters and internship. I can't whine anymore. Setiap semester sama je perasaan tu. Penat, nak give up, blablabla. So I better keep my mouth shut and do my thing. On a side note, I think I know what I'm gonna do for PSM. I mean, not specifically but I already aimed which field and which supervisor I'm digging into. Let's just hope for the best.
[I just nagged on Twitter]
Ive nothing else to say. Gotta get back to my movies. Toodles!
So, it's almost a week into semester break and I've watched a lot of movies already. Some of them I watched online and others I just downloaded them. Ah, so many A-list movies this year and they are so damn good! Among of the movies are like The Martian, Brooklyn, The Revenant, Room, Concussion, Inside Out, and Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. They are so fucking awesome, I just wanna jump from roof to another roof. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND all of you to watch The Revenant (9/10), Room (7.5/10), and Brooklyn (8/10). Hahhhhhhhh I cant even put it into words to describe the movies. Just because they made me feel. I just had to mention The Revenant's cinematography - man, what an eyegasm. Breathtaking! The handsome Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy are in it. Damn it gurl I can't move on from watching those movies again and again hehe.
Alright. Done about movies. I am unofficially 23 years old this year, not until June. So that means that I'm getting to a phase where my friends are graduating, getting a job, settling down and "having babies on purpose". That also means, I'm getting old; well, obviously. I, on the other hand, still have a year and a half left till graduate, hopefully. I'm not going to settle down, not at the moment nor another 3-4 years... Heh. I'm talking about this because my ex-roommate back in UTMKL is getting married end of this month and my ex-dormmate in TiKL also getting married. Hujung bulan ni juga. Wow. Their lives happen so fast, I can't even feel mine. Lol. The good news for me is, every kenduri, there is free food. So, that's my life right there.
One other thing, last semester was hectic. I can't imagine being in next three semesters and internship. I can't whine anymore. Setiap semester sama je perasaan tu. Penat, nak give up, blablabla. So I better keep my mouth shut and do my thing. On a side note, I think I know what I'm gonna do for PSM. I mean, not specifically but I already aimed which field and which supervisor I'm digging into. Let's just hope for the best.
[I just nagged on Twitter]
Ive nothing else to say. Gotta get back to my movies. Toodles!
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