#70 Confused

Hi.

Supposedly, I were to assign at Uptown 8, a high rise project but since it hasn't gotten its LA yet and I don't wanna wait any longer, I was transferred to MRT project, an infra/prasarana project which Im not familiar of. But here I am anyway.

The first day, I reported myself to the Project Director, and we chat a lil bit and straight away he said, "I'm gonna put you in Launching Team". And apparently, I'm the only woman of a group of 20+ men. Still adjusting and adapting myself to this new environment, which is super hard, I'm not gonna lie. People were like, "Launching Team? Serius lah! Bertabahlah". That's not helping at all but you know, where am I supposed to run? Haha.

There's a lot going on inside my mind. And I can't seem to comprehend any of them. I rant on Twitter last night on how being in my 20s is confusing. I just started working for almost 3 months now so of course I want to establish myself in my career. But at the same time, I'm looking for a potential husband, not my first priority, but still. And also, I'm figuring out how to carry myself forward and not let people think that I'm a student - which I'm not and I'm not gonna let myself being an outcast but obviously for me, it's difficult. I feel intimidated which is super normal but struggling not to show it.

But on the other hand, for the past year, every time I met a guy that I was attracted to, it wasn't going anywhere. Looks like they were intimidated by me. By my 'academic achievement' and my 'position'. If I care so much about the hierarchy, then I wouldn't be liking you. I was impressed on how they bring themselves. That's what I care about. There's still a lot I want to talk about but I think if I continue, I can't stop and it would be a long, boring rant.

Anyway, if you want to know what Launching Team does, don't hesitate to Google 'launching gantry' or watch the videos.

#69 Not All is Black and White

People in consultant and contractor company often pick fight with each other. Macam anjing dengan kucing. I get it, every side wants their work’s done the right way so there goes the blaming game.

I never had any exposure in consultant firm. So I don’t quite know their work flow. But Ive always been told that you must gain experience in consultant firm first before you make your way into construction field. But when im in construction firm and have actually worked at a site, most people would say, ‘this is a great opportunity working here first’ because they said you get the hands-on experience so when you go to consultant firm, you’ll know which design will work or otherwise; but of course those things come from years of involvement in the industry.

Well, this is my opinion. IT DOESN’T MATTER. Because it all depends on individual. Depends on YOU. And also depends on cooperation between those different divisions. Some people encounter different challenges so you cant say like it’s all black and white. It has to be flexible. It has to be adaptable. And we have to be able to adapt to different environment of work in the future.

When you say you have to do this first because blabla, it’s like youre downgrading the other firm’s work. Like it doesn’t matter. You don’t know that do you? That’s how I feel when people say “Patutnya kerja lah dekat consultant dulu” or “Patutnya kerja la kat smaller companies dulu”. You say as if these people doesn’t work their asses of. What I do right now, what I choose right now, believe me when I say I know what im doing. If those people think theyre right and other people opinions are wrong, they should let it be. Experience is the best teacher, ever. There’s no solid way of doing the right or wrong thing.

I’ll end my rant by saying – Let’s just agree to disagree.

#68 Updates!

Assalamualaikum and hi!

It's been so long since my last update. Last February isnt it?

(After 2 days)

Wow, I seriously dont know how to write anymore. Lol. Anyway, I just finished my studies last June and the examination result will be out tomorrow. I hope everything is okay. I'm doing good so far, helping my father sells satay. We've been busy every weekend since Raya because so many people booked us for their open houses and weddings. Alhamdulillah, rezeki. It's super tiring, all you want to do bila bakar satay is to drink all the time. Okay, so updates?!

1. Post-grad????

I received an email from UTM  a few days back and received an offer letter regarding pursuing Masters in Engineering (Civil). Well, honestly I have never included pursuing post graduation studies in my life. At least not for now. So, it was an easy decision to not accept it. My mother was like, "Kenapa tak nak? Bukan senang dapat offer". Yes, Im well aware of that. It's just I dont have the heart to study anymore. Dont get me wrong, Im blessed to be given the opportunity. Maybe, it is not the right timing. Yet. My mind is already moving on to preparing for my next phase in life.

2. A Job!

Hah, the thing Ive been waiting for. But I am extremely nervous. Which reminds me that I havent updated my resume yet lol. I'll be assigned at IJM headquarter in PJ for about 6 weeks, maybe more maybe less. Then they will send me wherever construction site they think fits. I dont know why this whole thing worries me. Wait, I do know. Because this is real job. Not an internship, so I know it is and will be different. I have two more weeks, pls wish me luck!

3. Thesis

I should put this as #1, shouldnt I? As a student, finished and submitted your thesis was the most accomplished thing you can ever conquer, I am not even kidding. I dont know about other people, but I felt that way, seriously. The day I was done with viva presentation and thesis submission, it felt like I can finally let myself fly. All the emotional, physical and mental baggage I was hauling around was finally lift off of my shoulders. Weh, I seriously hope my supervisor gives me good grades. Hehe.

Well, I think that's all. It's already Maghrib. I dont know when will I update my blog again but surely I will never let this precious online diary be gone in the wind.

Chiao.

#67: 10 Days Visit to Kyoto, Japan.

Assalamualaikum, hi.

So, I'm back in UTM after skipping a week of lecture. I must say that the visit to Japan and Ritsumeikan University has been amazing and such an experience for me. I'm lucky enough to be selected to join the Youth Exchange Program. I met new people along the way and I guess it increases my confidence level which is a good thing considering I'll be embarking into a new phase of life in less than year from now on. Also, IJM already sent an email regarding my employment there. All I need to worry now is to finish my final semester with elegance. Lol no.

Anyway, I experienced my first snow ever in Japan! On our third day, I woke up to see white flakes falling down from the sky and I'm head over heels! While everyone was staying inside during winter season, my friends and I went outside and took pictures lol.

I'm in love with Japan. The people are extremely polite and shy and over time, are very friendly. Eventhough most of them don't speak fluent English or don't even know English language at all, they still wanted to converse with us. The effort, guys. I'm in awe.

Another one was, while we were touring around Kyoto, we were struggling to find a place to perform our prayer. At times we just prayed at open parking lot near the restroom with cold breeze hitting our face. Some other time we had to pray at staircase in shopping mall and train stations. I've never experience this before so it was kinda one for the book for me right there. Imagine having to take your wudhu' in 4 degree celcius and during winter. Lol.

InsyaAllah, if I have the opportunity, I will definitely visit Japan again. Maybe to Tokyo or Hokkaido during another season. Alhamdulillah for the great experience.

There are over 2000 pictures just from Japan in my phone. I just don't know which one to choose. Hihi. Good times.

#66

Hello! Assalamualaikum.

Wow. 2017.

Anyway, I'm on semester break right now. Two weeks left and then I'm gonna embark on a new semester - my final semester! God, it sounds great but not really. Wait, no. Of course it's great but it's gonna be tough. Tengah cuti pun still fikir pasal PSM. Whut. I'm silently freaking out right now. Since the second week of the upcoming lecture I'll be heading to Japan, I'll lose a week to do my final year project. A week is a loooooot of time since I'll be spending most of my time collecting data from local authorities. You know how it goes when dealing with them...

Hahhhh. I really need to stop thinking about academic stuff for a minute. Oh btw, have I told you that my father is selling satay right now? During the day he goes to his office as usual and only at night he sells satay and I'm helping him. Bolehlah I dapat average RM 30 satu malam. It's tiring, really. But I can eat for free haha. So usually my father heads to his stall at 5pm to set up blabla then I'll join him at 8 pm until whenever there's no customer or there's no satay left (normally 11.30 pm - 12 am). And I sleep all day. Haha.

On a side note, sad news: MY CRUSH IS GETTING ENGAGED LOL. Why I'm always attracted to someone's partner? Wth iz diz lolz wtvz. But not to worries, people. I'm sticking to my #misiduatahun although since last year I said that and probably I will say the same this year and next year. Lmao.

OH YES GAIS, I WENT TO HIKE AT GUNUNG LAMBAK A MONTH AGO AND IT WAS AWESOME YET I'M CURSING ALL THE WAY UP. So there were 3 cars, 7 guys and 2 girls altogether. FUN FUN FUN FUN

Let me tell you, this was actually during our study week. We got too caught up with our syllabus and stuff and that worn us to the bones (Yes, I'm quoting OneRepublic's Let's Hurt Tonight). So we kinda, fuck-this-shit and let's do something. So, we went hiking! And it was worth the sweat.



I have a few pictures to show you but you can just read more. Ok, night! 🔚