#70 Confused

Hi.

Supposedly, I were to assign at Uptown 8, a high rise project but since it hasn't gotten its LA yet and I don't wanna wait any longer, I was transferred to MRT project, an infra/prasarana project which Im not familiar of. But here I am anyway.

The first day, I reported myself to the Project Director, and we chat a lil bit and straight away he said, "I'm gonna put you in Launching Team". And apparently, I'm the only woman of a group of 20+ men. Still adjusting and adapting myself to this new environment, which is super hard, I'm not gonna lie. People were like, "Launching Team? Serius lah! Bertabahlah". That's not helping at all but you know, where am I supposed to run? Haha.

There's a lot going on inside my mind. And I can't seem to comprehend any of them. I rant on Twitter last night on how being in my 20s is confusing. I just started working for almost 3 months now so of course I want to establish myself in my career. But at the same time, I'm looking for a potential husband, not my first priority, but still. And also, I'm figuring out how to carry myself forward and not let people think that I'm a student - which I'm not and I'm not gonna let myself being an outcast but obviously for me, it's difficult. I feel intimidated which is super normal but struggling not to show it.

But on the other hand, for the past year, every time I met a guy that I was attracted to, it wasn't going anywhere. Looks like they were intimidated by me. By my 'academic achievement' and my 'position'. If I care so much about the hierarchy, then I wouldn't be liking you. I was impressed on how they bring themselves. That's what I care about. There's still a lot I want to talk about but I think if I continue, I can't stop and it would be a long, boring rant.

Anyway, if you want to know what Launching Team does, don't hesitate to Google 'launching gantry' or watch the videos.