Hi.
I have friends here and people might see me have a lot of them. But the truth is, I don't think I can call them really true friends. I feel empty and I feel lonely all the time. See, mata pun dah bergenang as I'm typing this. I hate everything here. One thing that makes me keep going is the urge to keep studying to ease myself in the future.
I think this happens because my friends have their own friends. You know what I'm saying. I am not my friends' priority or not even in their lists to do something together. It hurts me although it means nothing to them. This is why everything here sucks like hell. It was not even a problem when I was studying in KL. I can go home whenever I want. I feel whole when I'm home especially with my cats.
And I feel way way way way wayyy more fragile right here right now.
Although I have said before that school was sucks, that was probably because of the break-up (HA HA HA HA yes I was that immature bij). But seriously, school is where I have friends whom I can pour my heart out at. Especially in TIKL.
I mean, not that my friends here are bad, it's just... You know when you make friends with anyone but you can't just make it up to their circle of close friends who they can hangout with. Yeah just like that.
Malulah menangis macam ni bila roommate ada dalam bilik.
K.
